where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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