I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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