She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
