New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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