stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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