dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
