Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
