Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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