i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
