onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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