its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
