Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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