look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize