...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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