I cannot find my penis.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
