your thong is hanging out like whoa
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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