my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
