I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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