I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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