I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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