your parents love me but you hate me
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
