I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
