she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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