Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she peed on how many people?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
