If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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