Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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