I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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