from now on my penis is your penis
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
