I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
only you would photoshop your dick
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
