your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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