Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
