the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
