He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
