shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
high people should be assigned attendants
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
