Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
