no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
