He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
