after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
