Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
