How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
4 words: hood of his car
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
