Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
