I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
