after a month anything with tits is on the radar
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I stole a fireplace last night.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
