he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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