I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
