Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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