I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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