i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
