I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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