I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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