I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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