Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
