speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Every concussion has its silver lining
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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