one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize