Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
home. puking in laundry basket.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
