she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
