Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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