did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
