1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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