You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
